Britney Spears isn't taking any chances with her Onyx Hotel tour, which kicked off Tuesday night to a sold-out crowd in San Diego. The Britster pulls out every sexy move she knows -- plus a few new ones -- to prove she's got what it takes to remain relevant in this post-Janet Jackson boob-baring era.
For those still debating whether to plunk down your hard-earned cash for a ticket, here's what you can expect: As scantily clad male dancers gyrate behind, above, and around her, the pop tartlet teases the crowd in everything from a pleather catsuit to a bra-and-panty set (in pink, naturally) to a see-through sequined body stocking.
The massive stage production, ostensibly set in a hedonistic hotel "on the edge of reality," also features such titillating elements as a boy-on-boy disrobing, S&M accessories (Britney carries a whip), and some exploratory, uh, self-touching.
But sexiness isn't Britney's only onstage weapon -- she also shows her vulnerable side. During the San Diego show, she referenced her recent blink-and-you'll-miss-it 55-hour Las Vegas marriage to Jason Alexander, telling the "cute" fellas in the crowd, "Who knows? Maybe if you're really lucky, I might marry you."
Matrimonial threats out of the way, the blonde bombshell then sat down at a piano (no, she doesn't actually play) and attempted to be philosophical about her troubles. "The past six months have been like a roller-coaster, with a lot of ups and downs," she explained. "But I think that's made me who I am right now...Everything we experience makes us realize how beautiful life can really be."
While the San Diego crowd enjoyed their stay at the Onyx Hotel, critics seemed eager to check out. "A suggestive, racy show that contains very little actual singing," says the New York Times, which declares that Britney, with her first major tour in two years, has "outdone even her mentor, Madonna" with the raunch factor. But the Los Angeles Times believes the spectacle was strictly PG-13, calling the show "sterile" and "tame."